friends?

"a man who has friends, must himself be friendly" or "a man of many companions may come to ruin". same verse. two very different translations. the first translation is in the KJV, and the second the NIV. comparing where the same hebrew words are used in different parts of the bible, i'd say the NIV translation is correct. but..... but.... i like the KJV one better. i want to have many friends.

I was feeling lonely in this town. i've been living here 11 years now, married, with 2 kids. and busy. lots to do, lots of people to see. it is true that having lots of acquaintances leaves one little time to really make friends. really - to get to the heart of the matter. i sometimes try to treat my acquaintances like friends, and share what's going on. and then i feel judged and worse than before. is this what is meant be alienation and angst in modern society. we've given ourselves so many different inputs into our lives, but ignored the one "who sticks closer than a brother".

To have a friend, to be a friend. so hard to know how to do that.

Blue on Beige

i woke up this morning feeling blue. bluer than the blue blue sky. why is it that blue in a sky is cheerful, but blue in me is definitely not? i walked the kids to the bus, and after they got in the black mini-van, i walked up the driveway with the sun on my back, and watched my dark brown shadow on the brown of the gravel, and while i was glad for the warmth of the sun, really i focused on the browns. i got in the house, and instead of doing all the things i needed to do, i lay on the beige couch, and there i was: blue on beige. and wishing i could curl up and stay there all day. yet in a corner of my mind, the words were running like a silent movie: "this is the day that the lord has made, i will rejoice and be glad in it". THIS is the day. today. this blue, brown, beige kind of day. rejoice in IT.

after finally getting myself of the couch, and reading my bible, i read in psalm 57 - be exalted, O God, above the heavens, let your glory be over all the earth. and in psalm 96 - the seas will roar, the trees rejoice, the mountains be glad - why, when - when He comes as a judge. who is happy to see a judge? those who have viewed injustice. who is extra glad when a judge comes? those who have felt and experienced injustice. the trees, the seas, the mountains. they will rejoice when the judge comes.

i remembered when i was young and wise, (and yes - it seems that youth does know some things that i don't know now. 15 years and 2 kids seem to have chased alot of wisdom out of my mind.) and i was in the middle of a storm, and instead of hiding in side, i went out in it. and felt the rain and wind, i watched the lightning, and heard the thunder. i felt the majesty and power, and i watched the grass. the grass was dancing. huge drops of rain on the grass, and it was dancing. and i thought - God could use the grass. the grass could rejoice and praise Him, and He could use that and that alone, yet somehow He has allowed me to be of use as well. He allows me to praise Him.

and so - today, when i am blue and beige and brown, i will rejoice. i will look for the cheerfulness in the blue, and maybe even turn around and feel the sun on my face.